m-TequilaSunrise...

i just couldnt tahan my grandma's nagging and needed a place to spit it out.

yes. usual routine. woken up by her to operate the washing machine. then nagging mumbling yada yada yada...

this time the topic?

i was wearing a white polo-t just now when i went for a drink with TSL. and that shirt was making me feel very hot. so after the drinking session. i went home and changed to baju tidur la. den very unexpectedly, beh called and said she's coming to look for me. so i changed again to my shorts and a baby instead of a normal polo-t.

and then... granny mumble lorh... 'u change to this shirt, why? go out with guy so the guy can fuck u is it?'

i was like... wtf?! that baju is not even revealing.

and she said the 1st step i step in the house, i was being smelly. i admit, i smell of smoke bcos i smoke. but to my zhadou-ness... she said i smell so smelly bcos i was hugging guys. ARGGHHHHHHHH!!!

before i went out with beh, my pc was on and i purposely left it on cos i was running a virus scan. and when i'm home it's off! wa lau eh... she really cannot leave my things alone wan lor.

like i always tell my friends... even my drawer missing one panty oso she'll definitely know it.

anyways, back to bed. i'm really getting tired of her naggings. fark... i really need to get out of here. once i secure financially. urgh. frustrated cos no one calls me for job interview!!! and i applied tons!

need to sleep. need to sleep. nite.

frust...

and i'm not even working.

i slept at 4am just now like beh told me to. now is 6.30am. and why i'm here?

my lovely grandma woke me up.

fuck. i hate this. i dun hav good night sleep. i have no rights for good night sleep?

1st she woke me up so that i could adjust the washing machine for her. then she came upstairs and pass me back the money that i gave her for her usual monthly allowances. she pass to me along with the electric bill and told me take back the money and go pay for the electricity bill. i told her, i already pass the electric bill's money to my aunt. she keep pushing the money towards me.

i got so fucking angry. why? why all the good things i trying to do she have to reject? she always used my other cousins to compare with me. why? try asking them to stay with u for even just 1 night. they wont even want to. and i'm stuck with u for fucking 23 yrs and u still say they're your best grand children while i'm just a useless piece of shit who gets fuck n suck bangla's cock.

she said i raised my voice at her. she's deaf and she's able to say that i raised my voice on her.

watelse can i do? watelse can i do other than just crying in silence?