m-TequilaSunrise...

and i'm not even working.

i slept at 4am just now like beh told me to. now is 6.30am. and why i'm here?

my lovely grandma woke me up.

fuck. i hate this. i dun hav good night sleep. i have no rights for good night sleep?

1st she woke me up so that i could adjust the washing machine for her. then she came upstairs and pass me back the money that i gave her for her usual monthly allowances. she pass to me along with the electric bill and told me take back the money and go pay for the electricity bill. i told her, i already pass the electric bill's money to my aunt. she keep pushing the money towards me.

i got so fucking angry. why? why all the good things i trying to do she have to reject? she always used my other cousins to compare with me. why? try asking them to stay with u for even just 1 night. they wont even want to. and i'm stuck with u for fucking 23 yrs and u still say they're your best grand children while i'm just a useless piece of shit who gets fuck n suck bangla's cock.

she said i raised my voice at her. she's deaf and she's able to say that i raised my voice on her.

watelse can i do? watelse can i do other than just crying in silence?