m-TequilaSunrise...

... soon...

very soon in office...

i cannot breathe...

HELP!!!

and he's getting on my nerves. it's common sense!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

anyways, things has been going well for me. having the freedom now of being single. i spent most of my weekends at bigcow's place and usually after work, i'll stay home and online.

pretty dead life, i know. i'm waiting for my damn car... which the idiot is dragging me. it's already wednesday and he said he'll deliver the car before CNY. idiot...

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

after updates. there is something which has been bothering me a lot...

what are friends?

when u r needed by them, what will u do? immediately listen to them over the phone? immediately see if they need to go out for fresh air? immediately ignore her calls?

when u need them, what do u expect? to be just listen to u over the phone? expect them to go out with u on the spot? or listens nothing but the caller tunes she/he chose for u to listen for entertainment while waiting for her/him to answer?

when she was down, she has problems with her bf and family, she'll call me. and my ears are always on stand-by mode to listen to her, to console her.

one night, bigcow came over to my place for dinner. we wanted to go for smoke so we called that girl to join. but... she never answer. as she just stayed few houses from me, we rounded her place see if we can call for her or not. but when we passed by her hse, i saw her bf's car. she has a habit, whenever she's with her bf, she never answers my calls. so we went ahead to smoke.

another night, my depression strikes. the urge of cutting came back. i needed fresh air. i needed to go out to smoke. but it was quite late and my area is kinda dangerous. i called her, hoping she'll accompany me to go out for a walk near the shophouses or 7-11. but she never answer. i ended up going out alone to 7-11.

one more night, another friend of mine is looking for cheap black t-shirts for printing purposes and she is doing some sort of things related to fabric. and did purchase t-shirts and does fabric painting and sell it. so i thought she could give me some information on where to get cheap but nice thick t-shirts. so i called her, usually i would wait till it stop by itself. but this time, after a few rings, i hung up.

am i easier to be used on?