3 months ago
Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in Americaare like gentlemen.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman......
(Applause!Applause!)
Question: Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight or Toro(Bull)
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Spain: Because it charges every time it sees an opening.
(Applause! Applause !)
Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like gossip or rumors.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Philippines: Because it passes from mouth to mouth.
(Applause!Applause! Standing Ovation! Applause! Applause!)
Question: Ms Iran, how do you describe a male organ in your Country?
Ms Iran: Well, I can say that male organs in Iranare like thieves.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms I ran: Because they like to enter through the back door.
(Applause!Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)
Question: Ms India, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms India: Well, I can say the male organs in Indiaare like labourers.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms India: Because it works day and night......
(Applause!Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)
Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysiaare like Proton car.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Malaysia: Look tough but actually very soft.
(Applause!Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)
Question: Ms Singapore,how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms Singapore: Well, I can say that male organ In Singapore is very Kiasu (Afraid to lose).
Question: How can you say so?
Ms Singapore: It always wants to rush in quick and leave 15 minutes before the show is over.
(Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause! Applause!)
Question: Ms China, how do you describe a male organ in your country?
Ms China: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Chinaare like Deng Siu Ping.
Question: How can you say so?
Ms China: Short and hard working, but can work until 90.
(Applause!Applause! Laughter! Laughter! Applause! Applause!)
Daniel: I guess we are the left overs in this world.
Jasmine: I think so.. All of my friends have boyfriends & we are the only 2
persons left in this world without any special someone in our lives.
Daniel: Yup! I don't know what to do.
Jasmine: I know! We'll play a game.
Daniel: What game?
Jasmine: I'll be your girlfriend for 30 days & you will be my boyfriend.
Daniel: That's a great plan in fact, I don't have anything to do for the
following weeks..
DAY 1:
They watched their first movie together & were both touched in the romantic film.
DAY 4:
They went to the beach & had a picnic... Daniel & Jasmine had their quality time together.
DAY 12:
Daniel invited Jasmine to a circus and they went to a Horror House.. Jasmine was scared and she tried to touch Daniel's hand but by accident she touched someone else's and they both laughed..
DAY 14:
They saw a fortune teller down the road and asked for their future. The
fortune teller said: 'My darlings, please don't waste the time of your lives... spend your time together happily.' Then tears flow from the teller's eyes.
DAY 20:
Jasmine invited Daniel to go to the hill and they saw a meteor... Jasmine mumbled something.
DAY 28:
They rode on a bus and because of the bumpy road, Jasmine gave her first kiss to Daniel by accident.
DAY 29:
11:37 pm
Daniel & Jasmine were sitting in the park where they first decided to play this game...
Daniel: I'm tired Jasmine... do you want any drinks? I'll buy you one.. I'll just go down the road..
Jasmine: Apple juice would be fine,thanks.
Daniel: Wait for me...
20 minutes later... a stranger approached Jasmine.
Stranger: Are you a friend of Daniel?
Jasmine: Yes, why? What happened?
Stranger: A reckless drunken driver ran over Daniel & he is critical in the hospital.
11:57pm
The doctor came out from the emergency room & handed out an apple juice & a letter to Jasmine.
Doctor: We found this in Daniel's pocket.
Jasmine read the letter which says:
Jasmine, this past few days, I realized you are really a cute girl & I am falling for you.. your cherished smile, your everything when we played this game.. & before this game ends, I would like you to be my girlfriend for the rest of my
life. I love you, Jasmine...
Jasmine crumples the paper & shouted..
'Daniel! I don't want you to die...I love you... Remember that night we saw a meteor? I mumbled something.. I wished that we would be together forever & never end this game. Please don't leave me, Daniel... I love you, you cannot do this to me
Then the clock strikes 12
Daniel's heart stop pumping
THEN IT WAS THE 30th DAY...
... in office. finish shift at 10.30pm. now is 12.15 midnite.
i dont want to go home.
i want to look for a place to stay...
before i lost my mind...
Ystd really walk until my legs numb eh…
Woke up by my dearest W’s text msg. She was asking me to wake up and I was still lazing on the bed refuse to wake up. She kept reminding me I have errands to do but I still refuse to wake up. :P
But at the end I still wake up la. Cos I really got things to do.
But… I’m really too damn good at dilly dallying lor.
I woke up at about 12 or 1pm… (I think). Went online a while with Facebook a little, Restaurant City a bit, chat a little, text with baby a lot… :D
Before I know it, it is alre 3pm. :P
So off I went for my bath and dress up. :P
Settle my MPC bills and my car loan and headed towards The Curve. Parking was easy despite it’s a Sunday and it is pack with people. But I manage to find parking within 5 mins. Sweet. :)
Went walking around flea market. AndmyI hand was really really itchy till I can just buy at least one stuff at each stall. T_T
Anywaysss, bought the bag organizer that my colleague wanted. :)
Btw, this bag organizer thingie is really great for people like me and my colleague who loves to carry big bags. You know how your things tend to get so messy in your bag and u don’t know how to find tiny things till u need to pour out everything in order to get that ONE thing that u were looking for? This bag organizer thing actually fits your bag, doesn’t matter if your bag is smaller cos it is adjustable.
These are my stuffs in my bag. and it is just part of it. :P and yes. i bring coffee everywhere i go. :D
this part is where u wanna put things that cant be seen...
this can be bought at The Curve's flea market. the stalls are rotating. so walk around and hunt for it if u r interested. :)
After getting the bag organizer, headed towards Cineleisure. At 1st I wanted to buy advance tickets but unfortunately not available. So I went Juice Works and got their Cookies and Crème as meal replacement. It’s actually filling eh and delicious too.
Went to IKEA to get those transparent shoe boxes. I have to get those. All my shoes are well kept in boxes by my lovable grandma, which most of the time I don’t know where is it placed. So I need to raise my voice a bit (she got hearing problem wan ok. Not I did it on purpose) whenever I was seeking for my shoe. And bought something else. :P
After that, I wonder around killing time to meet big cow for dinner. After dinner, balik, online lagi… sleep.
Die la... Rebecca Bloomwood disease is back.
Tmrw I’m going to The Curve!
Need to buy the bag organizer for my colleague. 2 some more!
Den need to go Daiso. Why? Er… It’s a MUST TO everytime I’m in The Curve.
Go Papier and buy more tools and papers. :D
Wonder around IKEA and see got things to buy or not. Oh… Meatballs! *slurps*
*Preparing a list on WHAT TO BUY*
BYE~
"When I shop the world gets better, the world is better; and then it's not anymore and I have to do it again"
remember i was saying i was gonna go to pos laju office to collect my stuffs?
it happened like this.
ystd nite while following up the drama that was happening, aunt called.
*green green~*
ahyi: eh. u got warning letter ah?
me: ha? impossible. i pay every month wan. u dun lie la.
ahyi: really la. got pos laju notification here at home.
me: den how u know it's warning letter? pos laju tell u ah?
ahyi: how i know wor? usually is like that wan ma.
me: -_-"
so, the initial plan was just to pick up my stuff from pj pos laju branch den just go work...
but...
aunt called telling me there's another parcel to collect.
so...
went to the pos laju at subang, then to pos laju at pj den oni go work. never late some more. so pannai hor?
the one i collected from subang branch, which i have no idea that it was coming is actually a flask. from HLB. token of appreciation wor... ok lor.
den, the one in pj is another MPC. :P
who wanna teman me shopping for lappie?
*chanting*
i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie. i wan lappie.
:P
Gosh... i'm even occupied on my working day. im working afternoon shift and i need to collect parcels from 2 different post offices... :(
I’m fully booked…
For 3 consecutive weeks…
28th June I have to go Curve’s flea market to buy something for my colleague and my mom
4th and 5th July I have to go Jessi’s place to help her move stuffs. I don’t know why. At home I’m in charge of moving stuffs, and now Jessi ask me help her to move stuffs oso. I guess I’m strong enough eh? Ngek ngek ngek… but seriously, I’m capable to move the PC table from down to upstairs, alone. :D Strong to move stuffs, but my arms… lembik and flabby wan. No muscle wan. Haha!
12th, 13th and 14th July I’m also occupied for a special visit from Sg. =#^.^#=
And an advance plan on mid Aug to go Sg... oh the excitement! ^^
Pay day Pay day! I’m FREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Oh...
Tributes to Michael Jackson
Its about my work…
We consist of a few teams…
AU Team
HK Team
SG Team
Billing Team (is also consist of diff teams like AU, SG, HK)
Enterprise Team
I myself is proudly in the Enterprise team. Bcos our team remains as a team. Any difficulties, we come in and talk and solve it within ourselves. We do not need to drag our CCVP in the picture.
We have this meeting with our CCVP batch by batch. I wasn’t in today’s batch. My batch was weeks ago., with nothing much to talk about because, we accept as the way it is.
Unfortunately, today’s meeting, my teammate went. One guy from one of the teams have to cheeks to ask my teammate :-
Him : Ei… why everytime I see Enterprise team so stress wan ah?
TeamMate : When u receive a call, how many people you have to report to?
Him : Erm.. Team Leader, some times Team Manager
TM : OK. We got Sales, Service Managers, Account Managers, Escalation Manager, Team Manager, Team Leader.
Him : Oh. Wow… so many. Aiya. But SM(Service Managed) accounts a few only wan ma.
TM : Oh? Come and see our SM list, den u’ll know.
Why wanna compare? Different teams has their different scenarios. Compare what?
Then in the meeting…
They were emphasizing on the permanent mid nite shifts getting paid more but what they are doing is nothing cos less calls are at nite. Which is pretty much true. Other teams when they do not have calls or email (do they handle emails too?), they either watch DVD on their PC, or, sleep, or, surfing, or… sleep. But Enterprise team keeps quiet. It’s your life. Your job. And… we’re not bitches who bitch around other teams’ stuffs. And yet, they still have midnite shift allowance which is much higher than normal shift allowance. They wont have that much calls at night cos it’s their customer’s night time as well. That’s ok. I understand. But that is within your team wat, rite?
BUT! THIS is what pisses me off the most…
BUT! They said why ENTERPRISE team has 3 person for midnite shifts but other teams got 1 only. When my colleague told me, I was dumbfounded. Wtf? How can u compare like that?! So when that guy asked this, my colleague went… “oh. As far as I’m concerned, you guys only have one language to support which is respectively, English for AU, Cantonese for HK and perhaps English and Mandarin for SG. And also according to respective country only. Whereby we are servicing customers from around the globe. We support English, Mandarin, Cantonese, Japanese, Korean, sometimes even Bahasa Malaysia and some times some unknown language” *smiles*
And... the CCVP agrees...
They shut up straight.
Please… if u guys wanna kill among urselves in your own team, please. Go ahead. We wont bother. If u think our team is relaxing and having 3 person for midnite shift is a good thing, by all means, please. Request from your team leader or your team manager you wanna join Enterprise team. We welcome you with a huge big hug!
Seriously, you wanna compare with other teams. I got nothing to say cos what u guys supporting are pretty much the same products? I don’t know. But one thing for sure I know is that you guys only serve one country. ONE. And all u need is to report to your team leader or team manager. That simple, rite? And u have the chances of having first call resolution! But for enterprise team, we serve all countries. And the process is a nightmare. Any step u missed, u’ll get it from all parties that u’re reporting to. And u must be thinking, ‘aiya. Steps only ma. Easy job wat.’
We are required to update customer every hour. Other than updating customer, we need to send sms to the relevant person in charge. Emails, we need to cc them as well. Remember… it is every hour. And bare in mind. It’s not just one customer. There are a few, and not forgetting there are emails coming in that u need to reply within 1 hour. It’s our SLA. If never meet SLA, company rugi money la. And then, we still need to answer calls leh. Answer calls meaning, create more ticket.
and this is just minor part of the process.
and we DO NOT have first call resolution. If u consider customer unable to provide their account number is first call resolution, den ok. We got. Other than that. We DO NOT have first call resolution.
OK la. U guys must be thinking, ‘eh. Easy job ma’. Well… easy said than done.
**785 words only? i'll complain more next time. need to get back to work**
you arrived to your office area early, and went looking for a car park. after going a few rounds, u r getting late already. finally, u saw a car reversed leaving his/her parking space. but... it's an illegal parking crossed box.
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity... in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold... hence the rub... marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know
Apparently, my off day didn’t really turn out to be what I have planned. Hehe…
I woke up at about 12pm. Cos the night before I was ‘kan jeong-ing’ chasing TVB drama until 6am. :P
After dilly dally getting ready to go out, I still can talk on the phone with W while getting ready. Haha… arrived at Subang Airport Immigration office about 1pm. And it took less than 5 minutes to collect my passport. 9 hours lining up that day to get my passport done and only less than 5 minutes to collect it. Wonderful. Left right away I got it and headed towards Summit USJ.
This is the 1st time being early for my facial appointment which was at 2pm. Usually I'll be late like... 15 mins? Initially, I wanted to do eyelash extension as well with facial. But the younger sister is not in. so, I did embroidery instead for my eye brow. :D Everything ended at 6.40pm. 4 freaking hours and 40 minutes. :D So… I canceled gym.
I lurve pampering myself.
On the way wanting to go The Curve alone cos I wanted to buy something. I called Big Cow see if she wanna go or not. N then, yada yada yada… we ended up having dinner at NZX.
When I arrived home, planning to go sleep right away I clean up. Grandma starts to nag again. My light pink sleeping shorts mysteriously gone missing. Did I left it in the hotel in Genting ah? or Concorde? >.< If I really left my shorts there, den die la. This nagging is gonna last forever. I definitely left my hanger at Concorde. Oh... Just in case why am I mentioning about shorts and hanger, my grandma nags non-stop about my missing shorts and hanger. Sighsssss... And the words she's showering me with is not pleasant... at all.
So, I locked myself in my comp room till 2am.
And now~ GOOOOOOD MORNING EVERYONE! Haha… MORNING shift!!
Once I arrived in the office, the responses I got :-
Kit : Whoa, Michelle… So early…
Giap : Whoa Michelle… why so early?
YW : Eh… Michelle, u work midnite shift ah?
Yea… after weeks of working afternoon shift, and now suddenly to morning shift. Everyone was surprised cos I told everyone before I DO NOT wan to do morning shift. But unfortunately, no one wanna change shift with me. T_T Anyhowsssss… I can go home early. Muahahahahaa!
p/s : 25 days to go. counting down. <3
Saw the link on the right? here's a few videos related. and it was over alre. very nice and sort of touching...
enjoy...
*'Private Number' flashing on my phone*
Him : hi, this is xxx. i got ur number in my phone but i saved it as *. so ah... yea. any chace u know who is xxx? or some people may call me yyy...
Me : er... no. i dont think so.
Him : no. ok. in that case, i think i'll delete ur number then. thanks. by the way, what's ur name?
Me : er. michelle here...
Him : michelle? u used to work in digi rite?
Me : er. yea.
Him : haihya. this is yyy la. u dont remember me ah? im from your batch wan la.
Me : er. cant remember...
Him : *starts explaining*
Me : ha? anyways, i need to go. im working now.
Him : oh. ok. in that case, i'll text u la.
Me : ok. bye...
conclusion is... i got a REALLY bad memory... T_T
for wednesday...
Morning - collect passport
Afternoon - Facial
Evening - Gym
Night - zZzZzzzz...
I have to sleep early. *semangat* cos it's bloody 7.30am shift on Thursday... T_T
ok la. again, a late post. something happened just now, and i feel like blogging this to cover up the pain...
the night before we were still in the midst of deciding to go or not to go and end up i waited for answer and slept late. this...
is how i looked like when i was waiting for the cab =.=
sampai kl central alre, smoke a while... then headed to take LRT to Gombak and caught a bus up...
while on the way up, i realised something and said... "eh... volleyball..."
and W kept laughing. why la? it is what u do when u play volleyball wat... =.=
so we reached the cable car station alre, took our own sweet time to walk up, but mana tahu to our horror...
freaking long queue eh!! according to W, we lined up for more than 1 hour. =.=
1 hour later, we manage to get ourselves into the cable car! ^^
the view from the cable car. niceeeeee~ ^^
this is taken in first world. apparently they got this vietnam fair, some sort like that...
during waiting for the horrible long queue to check in, mind u, my number was at 1007, and when we took the number, it was only at 04xx... we were both so so so exhausted alre...
after checking in, we were practically dead on the bed. can u imagine what time we checked in? 6pm... yes! 6pm!! how can we not be dead on the bed? after resting up till 10.30pm. we decided to go out and hunt for food and we ended up in kenny rogers. no photo tho. too hungry alre. :P
after makan, we headed to casino. and i can tell u, we were quite lucky that night. :D
we were walking outside and boy it was so so cooling! but it was warm at heart tho. it is nice to have someone special with u to share such beautiful moments with u. *melts...* :)
and now, all the random views i took...
genting ah genting... gimme more free room, ok? :D
**edit update**
oh. i forgot. when i was in genting i was having period. that explains why all the tired moments. then at night when we were walking outside to smoke, the moon was full and bright... then i dont know how we were talking about werewolves. and i asked...
Me : so who u gonna eat tonight, werewolf...
W : Someone 'bloody'
LMAO...
i found this post here. and i thought it's just so beautiful...
It's So Easy To Love You
I can't find a love song that is suitable because we are so much more than one song.
You make it so easy to love you.
I can't find a photo that looks good to me because only videos can express your personality.
I can't help falling into your arms the moment I met you.
I can't help disliking people who are unworthy of you.
I can't help wanting to wear your shirt to feel close to you.
I can't bear to see you cry.
I can't bear saying goodbye because I will miss you.
I realised that our past made us who we are today.
I thank everyone that disappointed us because they made us ready for each other.
You make it so easy to love you.
I can't seem to find fault with you.
I can't help thinking we are made for each other.
I can't stop myself from falling deeper day by day.
I want to do my best by you.
I want to sayang you to sleep and wake you up with a kiss.
You make it so easy to love you.
I want to make sure your toes are covered during the night.
I want to experience simple pleasures during complicated times.
I can tell it's you by the sound of your footsteps.
I know when you are sad.
I know when you are in a bad mood.
I know that you will never hurt me.
I want to build a little house for you in my heart.
I want to share my dreams and aspirations.
I love it when you are childlike without being childish.
I love it when you take me for a spin.
I love it when you style my hair.
I love it when you make love to me.
I want to be your wife.
You make it so easy to love you.
Initially, I wondered why I don't seem to want to blog about you.
Then I realised why.
It is because we are living our dream and actions have taken over words.
Blackilocks, im sorry if i offended you by posting your entry here. i just find it is really nice the way u put it. let me know if u want me to remove it. :) cheers.
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About Me
- M-Tequila
- Subang Jaya, Selangor, Malaysia
- A 24 yr old girl living in the city all her life. Crazy, quiet, emotional and sometimes suicidal...
More about me
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